In all fairness, I always say that we experience so much joy in our lives from day to day, and I mean it. We enjoy our son so much and have so many wonderful moments together. Last night was hilarious, in particular. He was up late, walking around, giggling, bringing stuff back and forth, waving, blowing kisses, and we were laughing our heads off.
It's pretty odd, though, the type of stuff that does make us happy. Nevermind the stuff that we put up with and pass off as normal...I actually look forward to chemo, because it means that The Boy has recovered enough to receive the treatment. And, of course, it's one more chemo in the giant regimen. This is number 7 of 30...it actually sounds like progress, doesn't it?
I repeated what I said in an earlier entry to one of the nurses, that it was pretty darned sad that I only THOUGHT that the 3-cath day, watching The Boy being tortured, might have been ONE of the worst experiences in this whole ordeal. The fact that I might have even had to think about it. I guess it really wasn't, because the whole Philadelphia experience was MUCH worse, because it was torturous for days on end, and he was miserable, and instead of letting him get his mama milk (even after he did poo), they'd just drug him. They were rather forthcoming with the drugs in that hospital. Even when we went for his biopsy there, the sedation that they used was stronger and they also gave him an additional drug before taking him away from me so that he wouldn't get upset. I still get angry thinking about that place.
I wasn't angry about the failed caths. I wasn't blaming anyone for it--The Boy was unconsciously being stubborn. His body was refusing to allow the procedure, and they had to figure out the right way to circumvent his stubbornness. I was very glad that I could be there for him, and even more glad that he demonstrated so clearly that he needed my support and affection.
As we say, he doesn't have blankets or stuffed animals--he has people. Watch him go to sleep--most of the time he has someone's arm, or he is snuggled up close to someone. He is able to fall asleep on his own, if he is so inclined (because I've seen it happen).
It makes me happy that he loves me so much. And that he loves Musical Daddy so much. Additionally, it thrills me to no end to think of the love that he has for his grandparents (and I wish that he could have known his paternal grandmother).
I have some mother's day thoughts coming up for the weekend. But I'll save them, because I'm tired and I have no idea what I've written in the last few paragraphs. Good night.