The Boy remains cancer-free and with a stable remaining kidney!
Amazing how things change. This morning, I took The Boy and Ender (just as a spectator) for the ultrasound, the cheese sandwich, and the visit to audiology for hearing aid help. Good news is that The Boy has himself some new earmolds in his very favorite color. Orange, natch. Bad news is that his left hearing aid is not working. The light is on, but there's nobody home.
Anyhow, the reason why things change is because I was able to do this without a problem or complaint. Ender is a very good-natured baby who will relax and fall asleep in the Ergo carrier. And The Boy is a well-behaved preschooler (not a perfect one, but a good one) and not a sickly toddler who needs constant care. So it was a far cry from the insanity of taking The Boy and Little Bear to The Boy's very frequent clinic visits. We did it, but it was crazy.
Little Bear had preschool today. Following preschool pickup, I returned to the hospital with The Boy for his oncology and renal follow-ups.
Many thanks to my mother. Despite her not doing exactly as I would do because of a lack of fluency and physical ability, NOT a lack of desire to do what I prefer, she takes wonderful care of the children. Ender is so happy to rest in her arms and she is happy to have him there.
Anyhow, we made it through another round of checkups. And, we get a year until we need to go to renal, and six months for hem-onc, and no more x-rays.
It's been nearly 2 years since we were told to go home, no more chemo would be done. April 1st. I thought it was a joke.
What a change. All the problems that we have, jobs or backtalk or house issues (like a crack appearing on our shower floor), are small potatoes compared to what we went through until that point.
Monday, March 12, 2012
Sunday, February 26, 2012
A few carseat PSAs
I'm a lot better with the written word than the spoken word. I'm perfectly articulate, but I stutter a bit more than I probably should, and I'm not great at confrontation.
Yesterday I "practiced" speaking up about incorrect carseat use in a situation where it wasn't incredibly important and there was very little room for offense. I told a couple that the handle on their Graco SnugRide infant seat was supposed to either be all the way up, or all the way down, according to the manual. Actually, the manual indicates that of the 5 positions for the handle, 3 of them are acceptable for driving--positions, A, D, and E. But I didn't want to get into that much detail and I didn't have the manual with me.
Correct carseat use is something I've taken up at least as a personal cause for my own children. Here are some of the most basic ideas, grounded in current research and proper use. This is neither the maximum nor the bare minimum.
Please use the buckles correctly. They should not be twisted, and they should be tight enough so that you are unable to pinch the slack in them. The straps should go over the shoulders, between the neck and shoulders, like a backpack. The chest clip should be at the chest, not at the belly. If there are shoulder pads, they should go on the child's shoulder's, not the chest.
As a corollary to "please use the buckles correctly," please don't put children in heavy coats in the car. If you have to adjust the tightness of the buckles to a different setting than it would be without the coat, the child isn't really safe, because heavy coats and snowsuits can compress in an accident, allowing the child to fly right the heck through. Fleece sweatshirts and even thin fleece snowsuits will keep the child warm and still allow him/her to fit in the seat.
The American Association of Pediatrics recommends that children ride rear-facing in car until age 2, at least, with there being plenty of room for rear-facing for longer due to higher weight and height allowances in seats. The current minimum is 1 year AND 20 pounds to turn a child forward-facing in the car. Compare the appearance of a 1 year old to that of a 2 or 3 year old. The 1 year old is still all head, and in a crash, a 1 year old is far more at risk of spinal cord injury if forward-facing. Please keep your child rear-facing until at LEAST age 2, if not longer, and don't worry about the legs being crowded. Kids like to sit with their legs folded/cross-legged and find it perfectly comfortable. And most seats allow for rear-facing to 40 pounds and are taller than they used to be.
And, as a corollary to "please keep your kids rear-facing longer," there's also, please keep your kids in 5-point harnesses until they can sit up properly in the car every time. 4 years old and 40 pounds are the minimums for riding in a booster seat that uses the seatbelt, in many states. Other states don't specify and only say that children need to be in a restraint to a certain age or a certain weight or height. But the minimum may not be enough. Many children who are old enough to be in boosters are too small. Other children who are the right size don't sit properly while riding and need the stability of the 5-point harness a little longer. My 4.5 year old has ridden in a booster but is not yet ready to do so all the time without having someone sitting next to him (as we did on our vacation). Wait until at least age 5 or 6 for full-time boostering. If your kid goes to preschool, chances are, they'd be better off in a 5-point harness.
This is a major piece of misinformation that needs to be cleared up--YOU as the parents are responsible for installing your child's seat properly. There's a lot to this statement.
Many people go to the fire station or police station to get seats installed, thinking they are doing the safest thing for their child. Not every firefighter or police officer knows about carseats or is a certified CPST (child passenger safety technician). Some of them are, and they can be very helpful. Others have even given out bad advice such as, a child is 10 months old and 20 pounds, therefore he can ride forward-facing. Unless a firefighter or police officer is actually certified to deal with carseats, don't go to them for advice. However, if they help you get a safe seat for your child, that's great.
Also, whether you take your seat to a police/fire station or to a carseat technician at an event, or even if you know someone who is a carseat technician, that person should NOT be installing your seat for you, unless you are in a position where you really can't do it yourself (heavily pregnant, severely arthritic, that sort of thing). That person should show you how to install the seat correctly in that car, but you should be the person doing the installation, so that when you need to move the seat, or take it out to clean it up, you can replace the seat correctly and not have to worry about having it checked by a technician every time. Carseats are designed to be installed by parents.
Read the manual. Seriously. It will save you a lot of aggravation. You will know from the manual how long you can use the LATCH system, how to adjust a convertible seat to go from rear-facing to forward-facing (you need to switch the LATCH belt direction and change the recline). You will know what to do if you need to recline the seat more or less. You'll know how to wash the carseat cover properly. And you'll know how long the seat lasts until expiration.
Car seats expire. They are made out of material that can degrade and break down over time. A simple demonstration of this: leave a plastic toy shovel out in the sun for awhile. Although people drive their cars and use their seats in different conditions, the expiration date was designed so that even a carseat under extreme conditions would be able to make it.
Is it a waste if your carseat isn't under these conditions? Maybe. I'm pretty sure that our carseats would last past their dates. We don't live in extreme climates, and most of the time, the seats are in the garage. The reason why I don't plan to use a seat past its date, despite the fact that it may have maintained its structural integrity, is because if heaven forbid we were in an accident, I wouldn't want anything less than proper insurance coverage should anything happen. And of course I want the kids to be safe. The company may decide that carseat misuse, which includes using a seat past its date, means less coverage.
So. I'm not a carseat tech. Or a police officer. I'm just a mom who knows to RTFM. Look it up. I'm not spelling it out because this is a family-friendly blog.
Carseat recommendations? The seat that fits in your car and is installed and used properly everytime. So that may be different for your kids.
I can tell you that you want to go from an infant seat to a rear-facing convertible seat, if you don't just start with the convertible, so don't worry about getting the maximum out of your infant seats. Spend under $100 on the infant seat. And pass it around, from trusted friend to trusted friend.
Convertible seats come in all different styles. You either want a convertible seat that lasts long rear and front facing, OR you get a convertible that will last long rear-facing and then get a good combination (harness to booster) seat.
Do NOT get a 3 in 1 (rear, front harness, booster) seat and think it will actually do all those things. Chances are, it won't, and you'll have spent more money than you meant to. Usually they make lousy boosters and are outgrown as boosters when they are outgrown as harnessing seats.
Carseat safety beyond the minimum and on the cheap? Cosco Scenera convertible followed by either the Evenflo Maestro, Evenflo SecureKid, or Graco Nautilus if it is on sale. All perfectly good seats. All seats have to pass the same tests.
This was far more wordy than I wanted. If you got this far, please share this information. Keep kids safe in the car.
Yesterday I "practiced" speaking up about incorrect carseat use in a situation where it wasn't incredibly important and there was very little room for offense. I told a couple that the handle on their Graco SnugRide infant seat was supposed to either be all the way up, or all the way down, according to the manual. Actually, the manual indicates that of the 5 positions for the handle, 3 of them are acceptable for driving--positions, A, D, and E. But I didn't want to get into that much detail and I didn't have the manual with me.
Correct carseat use is something I've taken up at least as a personal cause for my own children. Here are some of the most basic ideas, grounded in current research and proper use. This is neither the maximum nor the bare minimum.
Please use the buckles correctly. They should not be twisted, and they should be tight enough so that you are unable to pinch the slack in them. The straps should go over the shoulders, between the neck and shoulders, like a backpack. The chest clip should be at the chest, not at the belly. If there are shoulder pads, they should go on the child's shoulder's, not the chest.
As a corollary to "please use the buckles correctly," please don't put children in heavy coats in the car. If you have to adjust the tightness of the buckles to a different setting than it would be without the coat, the child isn't really safe, because heavy coats and snowsuits can compress in an accident, allowing the child to fly right the heck through. Fleece sweatshirts and even thin fleece snowsuits will keep the child warm and still allow him/her to fit in the seat.
The American Association of Pediatrics recommends that children ride rear-facing in car until age 2, at least, with there being plenty of room for rear-facing for longer due to higher weight and height allowances in seats. The current minimum is 1 year AND 20 pounds to turn a child forward-facing in the car. Compare the appearance of a 1 year old to that of a 2 or 3 year old. The 1 year old is still all head, and in a crash, a 1 year old is far more at risk of spinal cord injury if forward-facing. Please keep your child rear-facing until at LEAST age 2, if not longer, and don't worry about the legs being crowded. Kids like to sit with their legs folded/cross-legged and find it perfectly comfortable. And most seats allow for rear-facing to 40 pounds and are taller than they used to be.
And, as a corollary to "please keep your kids rear-facing longer," there's also, please keep your kids in 5-point harnesses until they can sit up properly in the car every time. 4 years old and 40 pounds are the minimums for riding in a booster seat that uses the seatbelt, in many states. Other states don't specify and only say that children need to be in a restraint to a certain age or a certain weight or height. But the minimum may not be enough. Many children who are old enough to be in boosters are too small. Other children who are the right size don't sit properly while riding and need the stability of the 5-point harness a little longer. My 4.5 year old has ridden in a booster but is not yet ready to do so all the time without having someone sitting next to him (as we did on our vacation). Wait until at least age 5 or 6 for full-time boostering. If your kid goes to preschool, chances are, they'd be better off in a 5-point harness.
This is a major piece of misinformation that needs to be cleared up--YOU as the parents are responsible for installing your child's seat properly. There's a lot to this statement.
Many people go to the fire station or police station to get seats installed, thinking they are doing the safest thing for their child. Not every firefighter or police officer knows about carseats or is a certified CPST (child passenger safety technician). Some of them are, and they can be very helpful. Others have even given out bad advice such as, a child is 10 months old and 20 pounds, therefore he can ride forward-facing. Unless a firefighter or police officer is actually certified to deal with carseats, don't go to them for advice. However, if they help you get a safe seat for your child, that's great.
Also, whether you take your seat to a police/fire station or to a carseat technician at an event, or even if you know someone who is a carseat technician, that person should NOT be installing your seat for you, unless you are in a position where you really can't do it yourself (heavily pregnant, severely arthritic, that sort of thing). That person should show you how to install the seat correctly in that car, but you should be the person doing the installation, so that when you need to move the seat, or take it out to clean it up, you can replace the seat correctly and not have to worry about having it checked by a technician every time. Carseats are designed to be installed by parents.
Read the manual. Seriously. It will save you a lot of aggravation. You will know from the manual how long you can use the LATCH system, how to adjust a convertible seat to go from rear-facing to forward-facing (you need to switch the LATCH belt direction and change the recline). You will know what to do if you need to recline the seat more or less. You'll know how to wash the carseat cover properly. And you'll know how long the seat lasts until expiration.
Car seats expire. They are made out of material that can degrade and break down over time. A simple demonstration of this: leave a plastic toy shovel out in the sun for awhile. Although people drive their cars and use their seats in different conditions, the expiration date was designed so that even a carseat under extreme conditions would be able to make it.
Is it a waste if your carseat isn't under these conditions? Maybe. I'm pretty sure that our carseats would last past their dates. We don't live in extreme climates, and most of the time, the seats are in the garage. The reason why I don't plan to use a seat past its date, despite the fact that it may have maintained its structural integrity, is because if heaven forbid we were in an accident, I wouldn't want anything less than proper insurance coverage should anything happen. And of course I want the kids to be safe. The company may decide that carseat misuse, which includes using a seat past its date, means less coverage.
So. I'm not a carseat tech. Or a police officer. I'm just a mom who knows to RTFM. Look it up. I'm not spelling it out because this is a family-friendly blog.
Carseat recommendations? The seat that fits in your car and is installed and used properly everytime. So that may be different for your kids.
I can tell you that you want to go from an infant seat to a rear-facing convertible seat, if you don't just start with the convertible, so don't worry about getting the maximum out of your infant seats. Spend under $100 on the infant seat. And pass it around, from trusted friend to trusted friend.
Convertible seats come in all different styles. You either want a convertible seat that lasts long rear and front facing, OR you get a convertible that will last long rear-facing and then get a good combination (harness to booster) seat.
Do NOT get a 3 in 1 (rear, front harness, booster) seat and think it will actually do all those things. Chances are, it won't, and you'll have spent more money than you meant to. Usually they make lousy boosters and are outgrown as boosters when they are outgrown as harnessing seats.
Carseat safety beyond the minimum and on the cheap? Cosco Scenera convertible followed by either the Evenflo Maestro, Evenflo SecureKid, or Graco Nautilus if it is on sale. All perfectly good seats. All seats have to pass the same tests.
This was far more wordy than I wanted. If you got this far, please share this information. Keep kids safe in the car.
Saturday, February 25, 2012
Technology
I'm usually the first one to tell my kids, "enough with the iPad--go do something" but I'm not feeling well, so I'm glad that The Bear is playing letters and The Boy is reading a book.
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Really afraid of tigers
Ender does not like to be left alone or put down while sleeping. He appears to be following in the footsteps of his oldest brother, without as much of the Daddy attachment. Usually that means that if Mom gets up, everyone is up. Baby gets mad, Daddy tries to snuggle him back to sleep but with no luck, waking The Boy if he is in bed with us too.
A baby left alone in "the wild" would clearly be in danger, from tigers (or other indigenous hazards). And babies don't want that, which is why they get upset when you put them down. Ender must be really afraid of tigers.
However.
He is a baby who is so pleasant and easygoing. And is fine to play alone by my side while I make a meal or something like that. When we go out to the store, he rides in the Ergo snuggled up to me and is always happy.
His emotional needs are met effectively, because he gets to be close to me pretty much whenever he wants, and if not, he is close to someone else who loves him.
I haven't gotten any naysaying regarding his sleeping or his being given as much attention as he needs. If any mamas reading this have had issues with people telling you how to raise your baby and not "spoil" and let him get used to not being picked up right away (which does happen although not on purpose; having three little ones will cause that)...and then have people be surprised at how good he is? Tell them it's no accident.
A baby left alone in "the wild" would clearly be in danger, from tigers (or other indigenous hazards). And babies don't want that, which is why they get upset when you put them down. Ender must be really afraid of tigers.
However.
He is a baby who is so pleasant and easygoing. And is fine to play alone by my side while I make a meal or something like that. When we go out to the store, he rides in the Ergo snuggled up to me and is always happy.
His emotional needs are met effectively, because he gets to be close to me pretty much whenever he wants, and if not, he is close to someone else who loves him.
I haven't gotten any naysaying regarding his sleeping or his being given as much attention as he needs. If any mamas reading this have had issues with people telling you how to raise your baby and not "spoil" and let him get used to not being picked up right away (which does happen although not on purpose; having three little ones will cause that)...and then have people be surprised at how good he is? Tell them it's no accident.
Sunday, February 12, 2012
The need
I wonder where my need to write has gone. I have these thoughts regarding what would be worth sharing...and they drift away.
We're okay. We all are. Everyone is healthy and happy. Musical Daddy is working at his bank job and racking up "points" like it's a video game over there. Achieving something very measurable without having to worry about anyone's opinion is satisfying for him. I feel very fortunate that he is doing this job. He is glad to walk in somewhere and just start pwning.
The Boy loves his superheroes and his games. And he LOVES Daddy.
The Bear and I have a great time singing "Old MacDonald" and "I had a Rooster" before bed. He gets a kick out of the animal sounds. Funny stories: last week, The Bear was picking animals and picked a duck, then something else, and again, and then he picked a duck. "we already picked duck, Bear." He said, "a bigger duck."
Related to that: I sang him the ABCs and then he asked for the little letters.
Ender is loving his table food and is still pleasant and east-going.
I guess with writing, you just have to do it.
We're okay. We all are. Everyone is healthy and happy. Musical Daddy is working at his bank job and racking up "points" like it's a video game over there. Achieving something very measurable without having to worry about anyone's opinion is satisfying for him. I feel very fortunate that he is doing this job. He is glad to walk in somewhere and just start pwning.
The Boy loves his superheroes and his games. And he LOVES Daddy.
The Bear and I have a great time singing "Old MacDonald" and "I had a Rooster" before bed. He gets a kick out of the animal sounds. Funny stories: last week, The Bear was picking animals and picked a duck, then something else, and again, and then he picked a duck. "we already picked duck, Bear." He said, "a bigger duck."
Related to that: I sang him the ABCs and then he asked for the little letters.
Ender is loving his table food and is still pleasant and east-going.
I guess with writing, you just have to do it.
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Shift
Thankfully, Musical Daddy's schedule changes as of next week and he no longer has to work late on Monday and Friday. While I enjoyed those mornings, I did NOT enjoy those evenings, and I'm more than happy to bid those farewell.
I'm certainly not the first mother to have a husband working "second shift" and not having dinner together as a family as often. Doesn't mean I have to like it.
My current project is looking at local elementary schools to see where we might want to send our children. We have another year after this one for The Boy. The cutoff was moved from September 1 to October 1, but even so, with a birthday of August 30, he'd do well with an extra year.
He can read (on his IEP it was written that he reads at a first grade level). He can write. He can add. I'm pretty sure that by next year, The Bear will be doing those things. Yes, I realize he'll be 3. You need to realize that he's ridiculously smart. Anyhow, I don't send my kids to school for the academics. It's preschool. I send them there to learn how to work in a group, follow directions, behave in an organized fashion, and play nicely. Those things are far more important when it comes to functioning in a school community and later on, the workplace. Sure, the content is important, but that's not really going to change from one building to another. Your intelligence and knowledge won't get you a job if you didn't learn how to talk nicely to other people and wait your turn.
Ender is a super-chunk. Did I mention that he is 20 pounds at 6 months old? He is so happy and sweet, and baby-led weaning (using the British definition for "weaning" which means the intro to food) is once again a big hit.
Still breastfeeding, of course, Bare minimum is 18 months, for my kids (and I wish that I hadn't listened and stopped nursing The Boy at 15 months). Ask me in a year when I plan to stop breastfeeding and I'll say "about 5 minutes, or whenever he's done. Then he'll have more later."
Overall, things are just fine over here. We're busy. We get through our day with as much love and kindness as we can.
I'm certainly not the first mother to have a husband working "second shift" and not having dinner together as a family as often. Doesn't mean I have to like it.
My current project is looking at local elementary schools to see where we might want to send our children. We have another year after this one for The Boy. The cutoff was moved from September 1 to October 1, but even so, with a birthday of August 30, he'd do well with an extra year.
He can read (on his IEP it was written that he reads at a first grade level). He can write. He can add. I'm pretty sure that by next year, The Bear will be doing those things. Yes, I realize he'll be 3. You need to realize that he's ridiculously smart. Anyhow, I don't send my kids to school for the academics. It's preschool. I send them there to learn how to work in a group, follow directions, behave in an organized fashion, and play nicely. Those things are far more important when it comes to functioning in a school community and later on, the workplace. Sure, the content is important, but that's not really going to change from one building to another. Your intelligence and knowledge won't get you a job if you didn't learn how to talk nicely to other people and wait your turn.
Ender is a super-chunk. Did I mention that he is 20 pounds at 6 months old? He is so happy and sweet, and baby-led weaning (using the British definition for "weaning" which means the intro to food) is once again a big hit.
Still breastfeeding, of course, Bare minimum is 18 months, for my kids (and I wish that I hadn't listened and stopped nursing The Boy at 15 months). Ask me in a year when I plan to stop breastfeeding and I'll say "about 5 minutes, or whenever he's done. Then he'll have more later."
Overall, things are just fine over here. We're busy. We get through our day with as much love and kindness as we can.
Monday, January 16, 2012
Little Indulgences
If you are not a parent of more than one child, this won't make much sense to you.
Getting together with your kids one at a time, if you can, morphs the whole experience from a constant game of Whac-A-Mole into a truly pleasant experience. Right now I am lying in bed with JUST the baby, nursing him, while Daddy bathes the other two. It is so relaxing.
The Boy is at an age where, most of the time, he can be taken places and I really enjoy myself. Or in the case of yesterday, Daddy took just him to see Beauty and the Beast in 3D. I have taken him to shows, and while he does not always pay attention the whole time, he sits and does not screw around.
Difficult age for The Bear. 2.5 years old is too young to sit still and too old to cuddle. So we find our special outings elsewhere. Walks are great, as is playground time, and even meals out.
We are lucky that our kids, while they are far from quiet little church mice, we can take them out for a meal or an outing and they will be pretty civil.
In other news, Ender is 6 months old today! We moved his first meal at the table forward a day, so that everyone could be there. Here are the results of yesterday's and today's dining adventures. Broccoli, cucumber, and green beans, so far.
Getting together with your kids one at a time, if you can, morphs the whole experience from a constant game of Whac-A-Mole into a truly pleasant experience. Right now I am lying in bed with JUST the baby, nursing him, while Daddy bathes the other two. It is so relaxing.
The Boy is at an age where, most of the time, he can be taken places and I really enjoy myself. Or in the case of yesterday, Daddy took just him to see Beauty and the Beast in 3D. I have taken him to shows, and while he does not always pay attention the whole time, he sits and does not screw around.
Difficult age for The Bear. 2.5 years old is too young to sit still and too old to cuddle. So we find our special outings elsewhere. Walks are great, as is playground time, and even meals out.
We are lucky that our kids, while they are far from quiet little church mice, we can take them out for a meal or an outing and they will be pretty civil.
In other news, Ender is 6 months old today! We moved his first meal at the table forward a day, so that everyone could be there. Here are the results of yesterday's and today's dining adventures. Broccoli, cucumber, and green beans, so far.
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About Me
- Logical Mommy
- Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, United States
- I am a musician and teacher, wife and mother. My son was diagnosed with Wilms Tumor on June 25th, 2008. He has been off treatment fnowadays year and a half now. We have two more little sons who are healthy (thank goodness) and feisty. My husband and I enjoy music, books, and games.
