Sunday, December 13, 2009

An unwinding, much needed

This was supposed to post last night but never did. Here goes:

I actually put The Boy to bed in his very own Elmo bed today. It didn't go tremendously well.

The end result was a little guy lying in bed kinda curled up around the pillow with his bum in the air. How he got there, unfortunately, was about an hour of screaming for Grandma. I tried a few times to comfort him but short of lying there in bed with him until he falls asleep--another can of worms I'd rather not open--there was nothing that he wanted from me. No stories, no discussion of our day, and no songs.

Meatball, by the by, went right to sleep and slept through The Boy's theatrics.

I had mentioned in a previous entry that I was always stuck being the bad guy. Unfortunately, it has really become exaggerated over the past several days as The Boy hasn't been feeling as well and has been acting very two as a result...being grumpy, not wanting to agree to any clothing choice, that sort of stuff. My feeling is, he still needs to know that I'm the same person who holds him to the same standards while also allowing him a certain leeway while he isn't feeling so well. It's a fine line because I certainly don't want to be mean to the sick kid, but I prefer to plan for his future behavior and in doing so, I am assuming that he will have a future in which to behave.

Diaper changes have, unfortunately, been the bane of our existence. The Boy got a rash pretty early on this chemo cycle and while most of it has healed, there are still some sensitive spots. Poo problems, resulting in the condition we call "chemo butt" are typical, but he's had abnormal bowel movements for about a week. The doctor had us giving him Imodium and it seems to have had an effect, because he isn't pooping yellow goo every 3 hours anymore. We'll see how tonight goes, because every night this week has required at least one poopy diaper changing.

Speaking of diapers, I got quite the big score and replaced 12 of our BumGenius diapers with some aqua blue HuggaBuns size medium (the 2nd incarnation) at $5 each! We loved the BumGenius but after 2 years, the velcro is shot. We still have the new ones, and they still work the best for Meatball at night. I also got 2 of the new FuzziBunz 1 size in a cute baby blue color with a coupon. So more of our pocket dipes have snaps now.

The word on the house is that Musical Daddy and a wonderful crew of friends and family got just about everything DONE and the house will be in move-in condition when he leaves it on Tuesday. Possibly some little things might be done by the stagers.

His arrival here will hopefully restore some balance to The Boy. While he hasn't been crying too much for Daddy, he has done so, and I think he knows that a part of him is missing. The two of them are so very close. I don't worry, even though Musical Daddy might, that his time away from The Boy and Meatball has damaged their relationship. We have been able to webchat several times and it isn't as if all the time spent with them could be erased by a few weeks' absence. Meatball loves Daddy too--he has begun to associate Daddy time with giggles and tickles and being thrown around a bit. Daddy and his boys will pick right up where they left off.

We'll have a little crew here Wednesday afternoon to complete the move. Nothing is terrifically heavy that he and I can't just do ourselves but it is always easier to have more help. We'll hopefully be able to empty out the storage locker and not use it anymore, or at the very least be able to downgrade to a 5x10 or something like that.

My family has a LOT of stuff here in this house taking up a LOT of space...yes, they're pack rats, as am I, but the bigger problem is that they had a fire in the house not long before The Boy's relapse treatment began and my mother started making so many trips out to help us. She was managing the rebuilding of the house from far far away and just didn't have the energy to redistribute all the stuff once it came back from being cleaned. Hopefully our time here will actually be helpful to them in getting reorganized.

I keep saying it--she turned her life completely upside down for us. So did my father, as he was without my mother so frequently, and now he has us in his house. I think he likes the entertainment although I'd imagine that he is exhausted. Not only did they help care for our children, but they also made a HUGE contribution to my relationship with Musical Daddy. My mother would tell us to go out together or spend some time talking when The Boy was in the hospital, or even when he wasn't. The fact that she spent so many nights with The Boy also meant that Musical Daddy and I didn't have to be apart so much. The times when she wasn't with us and we had to take shifts staying overnight or, once Meatball was born, Musical Daddy would have to stay over every night...those times were really hard. If that was part of our norm, it would have been that much harder to keep our relationship strong.

We are fortunate, though, in that we are strong and we have handled our own interactions so well. I know that from my perspective, even if Musical Daddy and I have a disagreement, we talk it out and fix the problem. We checked our egos at the door long ago because we knew that the little stuff doesn't matter, and getting all worked up about the nitpicky stuff is why many relationships fail. The children keep us focused.

Tomorrow I go to the post office to send off some teaching stuff and to send the old BumGenius diapers, along with some prefolds, up to Canada. My friend up there said that she'd take a needle and thread to them, and she has THREE boys in diapers and could really use the extras.


The Reluctant Crunchy Mama said...

Your parents sound like awesome people! Sounds like you have a beautiful family: parents, husband, boys... All around...

I am sorry to hear that The Boy is not feeling well and acting two, on top of everything else. I imagine that finding a balance in the discipline department must be tough. He seems like such a sweetheart on videos, so it's hard to picture him throwing a fit! But, I know it happens because I have a two-year-old myself!

Great job with the diapers! I am thinking of buying more diapers because our BumGenius are useless. The velcro is warned out. We have leaks every night she wears one. We have a one-size FuzziBun and I am thinking of getting more of those because she will need night diapers for another year easy and replacing the elastics on those is quick and easy. I never heard of the Hugabuns. Are they pocket diapers? Are they good night diapers? Where did you find the awesome deal? Inquiring minds want to know! You were my #1 advisor when I was looking into cloth diapers, so you are the expert in my book!

Yikes, I wrote a book... Sorry!

Sarah R said...

Your parents rock!

I'm sorry to hear you, too, are experiencing bedtime troubles. Andrew will SCREAM if I don't lie down with him, and then he runs to the door, slams it shut, and hits his head on it. Ay-ay-ay. I have found the easiest way is for me to lie with him and get him to sleep before sneaking back to my own bed. The other thing is that he goes down between 10:00 - 10:30 p.m.

I wish BG made a snap version because it sounds like the only hangup with the ones they have now is the velcro itself.

I can't wait until Daddy can be home with you guys. I read his blog and that is so awesome that all your friends helped do that work. How awesome.

Jennifer said...

Your parents sound awesome!

I can only imagine what it's like having a two year old going through chemo! Abby's tantrums have lately. She has nights where it takes an hour to get her to go to sleep when in the past it would take no time at all. She's still in her crib, so she can't escape, but will throw her blanky and everything out to avoid going to sleep. I'm sure it's difficult to determine what is normal 2 year old behavior and what is chemo related. I wish you all the best of luck!!