Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Striking the balance

Thanks be to everything holy--Daddy is home.

He arrived at about 11:15 PM yesterday. He brought in a few things, including the TV, and we actually got to talk. The Boy, having fallen asleep with Grandma, was moved into our bed.

It was difficult last night, because Meatball had bed privileges while Daddy wasn't here. He'd go to sleep in his crib, and then I'd get him for his next feeding and sometimes he'd stay there until he woke up again for his next feeding. And sometimes he wouldn't and I'd put him back in the crib. Sometimes he resettles on his own; sometimes he doesn't. It's very different, having him out of the room. I'm not wild about it, as he doesn't sleep through, but we're just going to deal for now. He is excellent about taking naps during the day, so that's fine.

The Boy, of course, was so attached to Grandma and has since reattached to Daddy upon his return. To the point where a fit was thrown when Daddy left for 30 minutes. And a fit was thrown when Daddy was moving things in on the truck. He just doesn't want Daddy to go ANYWHERE.

Still, The Boy couldn't care less for me. I've progressed from "the bad cop" to "persona non grata" which doesn't feel too good. I try not to take it too personally, but it does hurt a bit to hear, when The Boy is offered snuggles with Mom, an emphatic "NO!" and retreat to Grandma. Or, this evening, Daddy. I have made it a point after giving meds, and particularly after giving the Neupogen shot, to hug The Boy and let him know that I love him even though I have to give him medicine and shots.

But I guess it's just as well that I bear the brunt of his distaste. Someone has to, and I know that he loves me enough even though he needs to take it out on someone. He loves everyone else in the house and loves to be around them, and he is nice to his nurses and doctors as he gets used to them. He isn't destructive and he isn't terribly aggressive, although the fighting that he does when he doesn't want his medication has become more enthusiastic.

We had visitors this evening. We had a delicious meal, too. It was enjoyable, and The Boy had fun. He had ice cream with dinner; it was what he wanted. It was funny because there was no ice cream on the table, yet he insisted on it.

He was being very dramatic this evening about his medicines. Usually, he is cooperative, but since there were people here, he was showing off. I'm sure that the matter-of-fact way that we handled things were off-putting, but it's our life.

1 comment:

The Reluctant Crunchy Mama said...

I am sorry that The Boy is acting this way towards you. As a mommy, I can imagine how hard it must be to know that your little one that you love so much, carried for 9 months, breastfed for ever, take care of with so much love... just isn't showing his love for you. Have you tried building in some one-on-one fun time with him every day? I know it can't be easy, seeing as how you have two kids and he might be low-energy due to chemo. But, perhaps, some time away from meds and needles, just you and him, might help him. You are a kick-ass mom and he will realize that. I am confident it is just an unpleasant phase that he will out-grow. Hugs.