Sort of piggybacking on my post about stay-at-home vs. working parents, I'm remembering some things that moms have said regarding the working parent--usually the dad but not always--wanting to come home from work and relax for the rest of the night, and not really be responsible for anything.
Maybe that's a construct of the Cleaver family and Donna Reed and choose-your-own-1950's-stereotype, but sorry--that just doesn't happen. Or if it does, it is likely that there are unhappy people involved.
At least, it doesn't happen until the children are old enough to "clock out" on their own and take care of themselves a bit more--take their own showers, dress themselves, read or play games on their own, that sort of thing.
It is a frequent struggle to figure out how to divide responsibilities, regardless of which parent works when. With The Boy, we did both work, but I was the one with the steady full-time job and Musical Daddy was the one with more sporadic work in the evenings and on weekends, particularly during marching band season. If he wasn't rushing out the door right away, frequently I'd come home and "relax" by nursing The Boy and then hand him right back to Daddy while I prepared dinner and the next day's lunches.
One mom said, "You don't get to clock out--why should he?" Another mom said "Sure, when he comes home it is his time--his time to be with the baby!" It doesn't have to be a scorekeeping endeavor, trying to figure out who has it more difficult and who deserves more of a break at what time. Nor should either parent feel as if his/her share of the work (working outside of the home; household tasks; childcare tasks) is unfair. Personally, I find it to be something of a relief if Musical Daddy entertains the children while I finish the household tasks that I may or may not have been able to accomplish during the day and get dinner ready. Then I can take the time and relax with my family.