I have a job interview on Monday. A real interview for a real job.
I've also been making some progress in getting in to substitute-teach in various districts. This requires a lot of hustling around, so it would be very fitting for it all to be for naught, and me to get this job for which I interview on Monday.
The job is middle school orchestra and chorus. That's what I do. I don't actually have much experience teaching middle school chorus but I know how, and I certainly sing. It seems like a pretty good school. 3 grades, about 300 kids per grade. Pretty good test score performance.
Lousy commute. Not out of the question ridiculous, but something like 48 minutes according to Google Maps, and that's without traffic. It's far.
Were I to get this job, we'd move next schoolyear. May as well save the money for a good down payment.
I'm really trying not to get too invested in the possibilities here. I've been disappointed multiple times.
I'm also trying to do fun stuff with my kids, because whether I'm substituting a few days a week or working full-time and far away, I'll be gone for portions of the day. I also have a few lessons that I'm teaching. Little kids on violins.
Today we went to an apple orchard and market. It was HOT, so the outdoor activities were less fun. Next time, we'll go when it isn't 90 degrees out. And we'll actually take the time to buy some apples. But the kids still had a good time. There were things to climb on, treats to eat, and stores for shopping.
Meanwhile, Musical Daddy is also getting some lessons, is looking into a church job, and might even have something else coming up.
All of this family time together has been amazing, though. And it's so nice, particularly compared with the hours that Musical Daddy used to put in at an ultimately worthless piece of garbage job. One or the other of us gets to go out from time to time, to exercise or shop or teach lessons or go to rehearsal. On rare occasions, we leave the kids with the grandparents and we go out together. But most of the time, it's us. And the kids. We didn't know how much we needed all that time together until we realized that it's been months that we have spent almost every hour of every day together and we don't despise each other. I look at Musical Daddy and his relationship with BOTH of his sons, and I don't think there are very many fathers who know their kids like he does.
Friday, September 24, 2010
Monday, September 20, 2010
The "I Can't" Syndrome
Great repost from The Reluctant Crunchy Mama about what to do when your child says "I Can't"
It's from Attachment Parenting International. Plenty of people will say that attachment parenting translates to spoiling your kids and keeping them babies forever. I wholeheartedly disagree. Meeting their needs when they are younger makes for healthier children, teenagers, and adults. Frequently, a parent who ascribes to attachment parenting will expect more age-appropriate independent action from their children. So what this article DOESN'T say is, when they say they can't, just do it for them.
HERE is the article. Enjoy. Respond.
It's from Attachment Parenting International. Plenty of people will say that attachment parenting translates to spoiling your kids and keeping them babies forever. I wholeheartedly disagree. Meeting their needs when they are younger makes for healthier children, teenagers, and adults. Frequently, a parent who ascribes to attachment parenting will expect more age-appropriate independent action from their children. So what this article DOESN'T say is, when they say they can't, just do it for them.
HERE is the article. Enjoy. Respond.
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Baby, look at you now!
Meatball has been growing up and becoming more and more of a little boy and less of a baby! He walks probably 75% of the time, can walk holding my hand and change direction with me (useful because then I'm not always picking him up and trying to drag him places), can walk up stairs while holding hands and the railing, loves to imitate motions, and says random new words all the time!
He claps his hands, does the motions for Itsy Bitsy Spider and some for Wheels on the Bus, and he can even wave his arms for the Hotdog Dance.
He can stand up from sitting on a step or a chair, and he can climb up to sit at a table or a bench.
Things that The Boy was barely doing at 21 months old, Meatball is doing at 14 months. I'm not sure how much of that is just that we are "letting" him do it and how much is just that he is physically so far ahead of where The Boy was at this age. It makes us see that The Boy really isn't quite "normal" or typical, no matter how close he may seem. Even though he is darned close to being on track according to his physical therapist, there are still some gaps in there that may take awhile to show themselves.
We were at a birthday party today, and we met a little boy who is a few months younger than The Boy, as he turns 3 in January vs. The Boy's end-of-August. This boy is rowdy, a bit on the aggressive side, loud, and high-energy. Also, very friendly, interactive, and very interested in playing with my kids. In other words, he's a BOY. The grandmother and the aunt said that the mother was very concerned about her son and wanted to have him evaluated to see if he had ADHD. They think he's fine, and I agreed. I told them that it's never bad to get a kid evaluated, and even if he turns out not to have any treatable issues, the specialists might have some ideas for redirecting negative behavior, but to us he seemed fine.
It reminded us that The Boy, while he does enjoy running and jumping and tackling and such, is really pretty calm for a boy in his age group. And also, that the parents and other caregivers of any small child frequently just want the reassurance that their child is normal and doing fine, and if not, that they're taking the right steps to correct problems.
We really enjoy watching Meatball, our thus-far typical child, and sometimes comparing in retrospect. I have a feeling that despite the nearly 2 year difference in ages, our two children are probably going to play with a lot of the same kids and be on the same wavelength a lot sooner than we'd otherwise expect. Meatball has probably said at least 20 different words and he isn't even 15 months old yet; The Boy had only said his 5 minimum by 15 months.
Some of Meatball's words previously used include: Mom, Dad/daddy, 'mpa (Grandpa), ca-o (avocado), yes, teeth, bath, bus, whoosh, ball, 'uba (tuba...yes, I'm serious), meat, byebye, and a few more that I can't think of. Most of them, he just says once or twice and forgets for awhile. But he knows them and will use them again eventually.
It's not so great to compare your children to each other or to other kids too frequently, but it can be a helpful and constructive tool from time to time. It feels nice, though, to JUST have to think about kid stuff and walking and talking...
And bumps on the head.
He claps his hands, does the motions for Itsy Bitsy Spider and some for Wheels on the Bus, and he can even wave his arms for the Hotdog Dance.
He can stand up from sitting on a step or a chair, and he can climb up to sit at a table or a bench.
Things that The Boy was barely doing at 21 months old, Meatball is doing at 14 months. I'm not sure how much of that is just that we are "letting" him do it and how much is just that he is physically so far ahead of where The Boy was at this age. It makes us see that The Boy really isn't quite "normal" or typical, no matter how close he may seem. Even though he is darned close to being on track according to his physical therapist, there are still some gaps in there that may take awhile to show themselves.
We were at a birthday party today, and we met a little boy who is a few months younger than The Boy, as he turns 3 in January vs. The Boy's end-of-August. This boy is rowdy, a bit on the aggressive side, loud, and high-energy. Also, very friendly, interactive, and very interested in playing with my kids. In other words, he's a BOY. The grandmother and the aunt said that the mother was very concerned about her son and wanted to have him evaluated to see if he had ADHD. They think he's fine, and I agreed. I told them that it's never bad to get a kid evaluated, and even if he turns out not to have any treatable issues, the specialists might have some ideas for redirecting negative behavior, but to us he seemed fine.
It reminded us that The Boy, while he does enjoy running and jumping and tackling and such, is really pretty calm for a boy in his age group. And also, that the parents and other caregivers of any small child frequently just want the reassurance that their child is normal and doing fine, and if not, that they're taking the right steps to correct problems.
We really enjoy watching Meatball, our thus-far typical child, and sometimes comparing in retrospect. I have a feeling that despite the nearly 2 year difference in ages, our two children are probably going to play with a lot of the same kids and be on the same wavelength a lot sooner than we'd otherwise expect. Meatball has probably said at least 20 different words and he isn't even 15 months old yet; The Boy had only said his 5 minimum by 15 months.
Some of Meatball's words previously used include: Mom, Dad/daddy, 'mpa (Grandpa), ca-o (avocado), yes, teeth, bath, bus, whoosh, ball, 'uba (tuba...yes, I'm serious), meat, byebye, and a few more that I can't think of. Most of them, he just says once or twice and forgets for awhile. But he knows them and will use them again eventually.
It's not so great to compare your children to each other or to other kids too frequently, but it can be a helpful and constructive tool from time to time. It feels nice, though, to JUST have to think about kid stuff and walking and talking...
And bumps on the head.
Break the Fast Highlights
I was actually able to fast the entire time, with the exception of some water that I drank because I'm still nursing a little boy. I'm surprised--I thought it would be more difficult especially considering that I hadn't done it in several years.
We had a big break the fast get-together at our house. Much of this was my mother's doing, as she has been hosting this for years. I added a few things to the menu, like a cauliflower and chick pea dish, and my quinoa salad that never made it to the table. I did a little bit of prep work, but most of it was my mother and our wonderful helpers.
Some funny/interesting highlights:
Musical Daddy proves once again that he was meant to be around babies. One of the families, friends of ours, has a little girl who is about 5 or 6 months old. Musical Daddy volunteered to hold her while her parents ate, and she played and laughed and had a kickin' time. Apparently she isn't the type to be friendly with everyone so that was an accomplishment.
Meatball tripping, hitting his head, and falling into the lap of his pediatrician who was one of our guests. He and another doctor present (one of at least 4) agreed that stitches wouldn't really be necessary. I was glad that he was right there and I didn't have to call him. Also, we saw the other pediatrician at services today, who said that she had called us back after we had already gone to the ER with Meatball. I told her that I was glad we went, because even though we had to wait a long time, they actually did something to make him better.
I received a compliment from another guest for nursing Meatball. It's a good thing, anyway, that it is recognized as a good thing and a normal thing. Even better, the guest in question is a 25-year-old med student. Not sure yet what type of medicine she is going into, but considering that there are so many doctors that have no problem telling mothers that breastmilk pretty much turns into kool-aid after 6 months, it's good to know that at least one more who doesn't hold that opinion.
Musical Daddy getting to watch the Yankees game with a fellow fan.
The Boy, talking to lots of people and running laps around the house.
No fights, no scuffles, no disagreements, and lots of happy eating people.
We had a big break the fast get-together at our house. Much of this was my mother's doing, as she has been hosting this for years. I added a few things to the menu, like a cauliflower and chick pea dish, and my quinoa salad that never made it to the table. I did a little bit of prep work, but most of it was my mother and our wonderful helpers.
Some funny/interesting highlights:
Musical Daddy proves once again that he was meant to be around babies. One of the families, friends of ours, has a little girl who is about 5 or 6 months old. Musical Daddy volunteered to hold her while her parents ate, and she played and laughed and had a kickin' time. Apparently she isn't the type to be friendly with everyone so that was an accomplishment.
Meatball tripping, hitting his head, and falling into the lap of his pediatrician who was one of our guests. He and another doctor present (one of at least 4) agreed that stitches wouldn't really be necessary. I was glad that he was right there and I didn't have to call him. Also, we saw the other pediatrician at services today, who said that she had called us back after we had already gone to the ER with Meatball. I told her that I was glad we went, because even though we had to wait a long time, they actually did something to make him better.
I received a compliment from another guest for nursing Meatball. It's a good thing, anyway, that it is recognized as a good thing and a normal thing. Even better, the guest in question is a 25-year-old med student. Not sure yet what type of medicine she is going into, but considering that there are so many doctors that have no problem telling mothers that breastmilk pretty much turns into kool-aid after 6 months, it's good to know that at least one more who doesn't hold that opinion.
Musical Daddy getting to watch the Yankees game with a fellow fan.
The Boy, talking to lots of people and running laps around the house.
No fights, no scuffles, no disagreements, and lots of happy eating people.
Friday, September 17, 2010
The Year In Review
Kol Nidrei is a funny prayer that we say at the start of Yom Kippur in which we say that any vows and promises and such that we make from now until next year, we shouldn't hold ourselves to them and we are absolved of responsibility. Not that it means that we don't try, but we acknowledge that we are flawed, and we are imperfect.
My intention is to be more patient and loving with my children and husband. To take better care of myself by eating well and exercising more, and practicing my instrument more. To take better care of my family of origin. I'll work on it, and I'll probably do better too, but I'm not expecting perfection.
I haven't really observed Yom Kippur since I became a mother. And I don't just mean that I didn't fast--I barely even made it to services at all.
2007 (or, 5768), The Boy had been in the emergency room for stomach issues, at 3 weeks old. You know, back when we thought that exorcism-style vomiting was the scariest thing that we could see as a parent. I needed to take care of him, and more specifically, I needed to regulate things in the feeding department.
2008 was a fever-related hospitalization for The Boy, after diagnosis and before the official relapse diagnosis (although we suspected something even at that time).
2009 I was home with Meatball and mastitis while Musical Daddy was in the hospital with The Boy for chemo. Since the cure for mastitis is to apply baby to affected area, that's what I did. I made it to Kol Nidrei services, but barely.
Now, in 2010, or 5771, I have two healthy children and I, myself, am healthy. We will bring the kids a little bit to services and the programs for their age group, for as long as they have the patience. Our biggest concern is probably getting The Boy to the bathroom on time. It's a whole different ballgame.
From last Yom Kippur to this one, the biggest changes in our lives are the state of The Boy's health and the location of our family. And the lack of employment for both of us. But we're working on the last part as much as we can.
I have started to submit paperwork to substitute teach music in a few districts that I know have strong orchestra programs. I guess I'm holding out a little hope that I can actually get a music teaching job, eventually.
Last year around this time I had a sick The Boy and an angry, but recovering, Meatball. This year they are so happy and have so much fun. They play together, run around the house, tackle Daddy, and give kisses.
Meatball has really started to take off with his words. Last night he was very excited for "bath" and this morning he brushed his "teesh" (teeth). I thought I heard him tell me "no" when I put him in his carseat. He is also taking off with his walking. He is already voicing opinions, such as, if he doesn't want to leave somewhere, he gets mad.
The Boy is sweet and precious and sensitive. And something of a pain in the way that 3-year-olds tend to be. But mostly, he is a joy and a treasure. We're just so glad to see him have the energy to talk back to us.
My intention is to be more patient and loving with my children and husband. To take better care of myself by eating well and exercising more, and practicing my instrument more. To take better care of my family of origin. I'll work on it, and I'll probably do better too, but I'm not expecting perfection.
I haven't really observed Yom Kippur since I became a mother. And I don't just mean that I didn't fast--I barely even made it to services at all.
2007 (or, 5768), The Boy had been in the emergency room for stomach issues, at 3 weeks old. You know, back when we thought that exorcism-style vomiting was the scariest thing that we could see as a parent. I needed to take care of him, and more specifically, I needed to regulate things in the feeding department.
2008 was a fever-related hospitalization for The Boy, after diagnosis and before the official relapse diagnosis (although we suspected something even at that time).
2009 I was home with Meatball and mastitis while Musical Daddy was in the hospital with The Boy for chemo. Since the cure for mastitis is to apply baby to affected area, that's what I did. I made it to Kol Nidrei services, but barely.
Now, in 2010, or 5771, I have two healthy children and I, myself, am healthy. We will bring the kids a little bit to services and the programs for their age group, for as long as they have the patience. Our biggest concern is probably getting The Boy to the bathroom on time. It's a whole different ballgame.
From last Yom Kippur to this one, the biggest changes in our lives are the state of The Boy's health and the location of our family. And the lack of employment for both of us. But we're working on the last part as much as we can.
I have started to submit paperwork to substitute teach music in a few districts that I know have strong orchestra programs. I guess I'm holding out a little hope that I can actually get a music teaching job, eventually.
Last year around this time I had a sick The Boy and an angry, but recovering, Meatball. This year they are so happy and have so much fun. They play together, run around the house, tackle Daddy, and give kisses.
Meatball has really started to take off with his words. Last night he was very excited for "bath" and this morning he brushed his "teesh" (teeth). I thought I heard him tell me "no" when I put him in his carseat. He is also taking off with his walking. He is already voicing opinions, such as, if he doesn't want to leave somewhere, he gets mad.
The Boy is sweet and precious and sensitive. And something of a pain in the way that 3-year-olds tend to be. But mostly, he is a joy and a treasure. We're just so glad to see him have the energy to talk back to us.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Home, then again.
Left the hospital with my parents. Stopped at Rite-Aid for extra Tylenol. Upon arriving at home I realized that I had forgotten Musical Daddy's phone. Called the hospital to be sure that they had it, and upon confirmation, I returned to the hospital. He probably still hasn't forgiven me. I don't forgive me either.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Going home
Meatball is clear to go home. The boogeyman treatment did the trick.
Not calling home because I hope they are sleeping.
Thing is...it's not cancer. So everything else pales in comparison. And as annoying as this whole experience was, to wait forever and be low priority, I certainly wouldn't trade that status for a fast track through the ER, because I really know what it means to be important in the ER. You really don't want to be important in the ER.
Not calling home because I hope they are sleeping.
Thing is...it's not cancer. So everything else pales in comparison. And as annoying as this whole experience was, to wait forever and be low priority, I certainly wouldn't trade that status for a fast track through the ER, because I really know what it means to be important in the ER. You really don't want to be important in the ER.
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