It's been a little over a year since we moved here. Since I gave up the idea of returning to the job that I loved. Since we sold the house that we owned and cared for and worked on, in a neighborhood that wasn't necessarily full of lots of community togetherness but still had great amenities for our family such as the convenience store and drugstore, and comic book store, within walking distance.
Looking at us now, we don't have the jobs that we thought we might have. It's just been too hard to get in the door. We have some things. We're making a little money. We have some private students. But we're still living in my parents' house with no end to that arrangement in sight.
I get WIC food for the kids, because we qualify financially, and it definitely helps.
Certainly not how I thought I'd be doing things at age 30.
But you know what? I look at my boys. The Boy's life was likely saved by our moving here. He may have survived, but he probably would have been damaged by the additional chemo treatments, not to mention the blood pressure cocktail that really wasn't supposed to be long-term for him. Who knows how much worse his hearing might have gotten? Who knows what his kidney status might have been. And Meatball is SO happy and healthy, and so loved. He gets so much positive attention and has been consistently thriving since we got here.
Ask me to choose--our careers and sense of independence and earning potential, or a better quality of life for these children?
Don't forget that we chose what is best for the children. And if you'd like to criticize me for living with my parents (who have been so generous with their resources, space, and time), after having been a homeowner and a person with a thriving career (which may have been flushed anyway, given the climate in New Jersey education), please keep in mind the choices that we made, and would make EVERY day of the week, for our children, and then remember that you probably have no room to talk about us.
It's the children. Every. Single. Time.
3 comments:
Making the best choice for your children will always be the best choice. We've lived with my parents twice when we were "in between" things. As much as I wanted my own space the grandparents got to spend so much time with the kids when they were little and the kids had a great time with their Nana and Papa.
You'll get there in time. Unfortunately it's a hard time economically right now. We moved out a little over a year now and my mom still talks about how much fun she had the summer were staying with them.
Have a happy holidays!!
Someone would criticize you? That's just...sad. Doing what's best for the kids is always a good thing. Hopefully, the jobs will eventually work out too.
I don't know that I've ever commented on your blog, but I stumbled upon it quite a long time ago through someone else's blog. Anyway I felt the need to respond to this post.
Doing what you did with giving up your career, your home, everything you had worked so hard for to give your boys the best chance at thriving makes you the most unselfish parents I know. I know that couldn't have been an easy decision. Living with your parents when you're 30 isn't ideal, but if people look at your choices and criticize you for them, I feel really sorry for their kids.
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