It's almost time

to say goodbye to my 20's.

Yes, I turn 30 in less than an hour. Technically I was born at 1:49 AM but who's counting.

So now what?

I'm very much in limbo right now. I want a new job for my birthday. For Musical Daddy to get a new GOOD job would be a similar joy.

I'll be 30. I'm not giving up anything. I don't have to tell myself to act my age when I have already been doing it. I don't dress like a teenager and I don't drink like a college kid. I take responsibility for my children.

I admit I'm a little jealous of the moms who still wear bikinis. Not that I wore bikinis too often before having kids but no one wants to see my belly. I couldn't be bothered to spend the money or the time on something to prevent baby-belly. Ultimately it isn't important.

I'm doing pretty well for my age. Skin is good, hair has just enough grey to give me that grown-up cred, no meds, no health issues. Thank heavens. I weigh about the same as I did 6 years ago when I got married. Maybe 5 pounds more, but that's it. Clothes don't all fit the same, but having kids can do that.

I'm not the professional success I thought I might be. Moving hasn't helped matters. I need to get back in the game in some form. Perhaps I should consider writing a bit more music.

I wasn't sure if I'd have kids by age 30. Or be married by then, even. So at least I overshot in one category. With my husband and, in particular, my children, I have experienced deep, intense joy. And pure unadulterated pain. Looking back on the time before I had them, I can honestly say that I knew nothing of joy and pain.

I hope to retain my good-health status. I'll probably have to work a little more for it as I get older. I already feel crappy when I eat crappy food. Even if it is REALLY good. But if I make the effort to eat fresh food and real food, and keep sweets and junk out of the house. I'm not going to set unrealistic goals for myself or my family .

I'm tired. When I wake up I'll be 30.