Today, The Boy has been very two, once again. I am pleased with the way that I handled it, as much as I could.
I had to use bedroom time to get him to chill the heck out when, during lunch, he suddenly refused to wear his bib. I know that most of the time, depending on what he is eating, he doesn't even really need the bib anymore, but frankly, the bib makes a great puke-catcher, as I got to see once again this morning. So he didn't want to wear the bib, and of course I tried to make him, even letting him choose it. But he didn't want it. The statement was "You always wear a bib when you eat at the table" meaning that if he didn't wear a bib, he couldn't eat at the table. Fitfitfit. Bedroom. I waited about 2 minutes, even though he was continuing to scream his head off, so that he could reset. When he was out again, it took him a little while and several repetitions, but he eventually left the bib on and had a nice lunch of salmon, triscuits, and grapes.
He had some juice, too, which he saved for later, and then dumped on the bedroom floor.
Kids like dumping stuff on the floor. Kids who dump stuff on the floor have to stop what they are doing and help clean up the floor.
The latest thing is, if he makes a mess trying to get something he wants instead of asking for help, I tell him that I'm too tired to get him what he wants unless he helps me clean up the mess (the "energy drain"). Generally, it makes no difference to me whether he gets it or not (cookies or juice or whatever else) although last time I had to contrive the help so that The Boy would actually get the juice since I want him to drink enough.
Meatball is kicking around on his playmat and The Boy is playing with beads, so I have a few moments to sit and recharge.
Moments over, I think, because I am going to attempt to take The Boy to the potty.
4 comments:
I just read a couple of your posts. We are entering...okay no...we are IN the terrible two's also. I've "popped" Abby's hand before, but it is usually because she is doing something dangerous (ie touching an outlet).
I'm still not sure about the spanking. I really don't do it. When she is having a tantrum I wonder if I should spank her, but then think it won't do anything, but make her more mad.
She freaked out tonight because I wouldn't give her a cookie before dinner. It's definitely not easy to ignore and let her work it out!!
Hang in there!!!
Did he have anything to say when you used the energy drain technique? Do you think he got it? I keep feeling like Ari is too young to understand certain things. I am beginning to think that I am underestimating her ability to understand language. Thanks for the reminder, not that you meant to remind me, but you know what I mean...! I like how you kept taking him out of the room after 2 minutes over and over again, rather than letting him stay in there for possibly an hour until he gets used to the new system. Sounds like the bedroom time idea is generating some results for you... Yay! Here is to hoping for happier Boy and happier mommy soon!
I'm not sure how well he gets the energy drain concept, but I figure I'll start it now so that he really has the chance to understand it. I have to force it a little bit, in that I physically helped him to pick something up and that counted as helping. I've done that a few times before with spill cleanup too (of course I don't make him clean it up if it comes out of him because that's a totally different problem).
My boy is just 5 days older than your boy. He does the same thing all the time. You definitely handled it perfectly. The best consequences are the obvious ones for the situation. He dumps stuff on the floor he cleans it up, it connects in their heads better. My 4-year-old colored with black marker all over the walls and she had to clean it up, she learned that she didn't want to color on the walls because she didn't want to scrub them later.
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