I get the feeling that tonight is going to be a difficult one in terms of getting the kids to sleep. And the grownups.
We were up at around 5AM to get The Boy to the hospital for surgery. Meatball woke up soon after and stayed up for awhile. He usually gets up at 7:30, so a 5:30 wakeup time is unusual. BUT he took an extra nap, the last one ending after 6. While he usually goes to bed at 7:30 or 8, a nap at 6 might interfere.
As for The Boy, who also gets up at 7:30 or so, getting up extra early, then being under anesthesia (although it seemed like the same amount that he had for his CT scans and radiation back in NJ, where he'd snap out of it in a hurry and be back to normal in short order), then having a long late nap...so much for the 9PM bedtime that we at least attempt every night.
Since Musical Daddy and I both got naps today, we're just going to roll with it.
After all, life with children can't be all about schedules and strict regimens. Sure, you want to have structure and routine, but if you aren't flexible, you'll be miserable.
Or, as we say in the teaching world, monitor and adjust.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
One more round
We've been here at the hospital for about an hour. I wonder if the feeling of routine, you know, the sense that you live there, ever really goes away. And we didn't log nearly the number of hours here that we did at the hospital in New Jersey.
We are awaiting The Boy's port removal. This will be his sixth surgery, three of which were major deals. This one is easy, although he doesn't know the difference at this point (he's still hungry).
We figured that we'd get breakfast after he went in; now we're hungry too!
We are awaiting The Boy's port removal. This will be his sixth surgery, three of which were major deals. This one is easy, although he doesn't know the difference at this point (he's still hungry).
We figured that we'd get breakfast after he went in; now we're hungry too!
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Breast cancer "vaccine" possibility, complete with side effects
I'm actually ill after reading this article.
Breast Cancer Vaccine...but there's a catch.
To summarize, the vaccine is being created to target a certain type of protein that is found in breast tumors. This protein is also found in the milk of lactating women, meaning that the vaccine would destroy a woman's ability to breastfeed. The vaccine may also be able to shrink existing tumors. It would be given to young women who are considered to be high-risk and also to women in their 40's.
The writer of the article is rather cavalier about dismissing the inability to breastfeed as a result, saying "there are choices to be made." This prospect bothers me because most of our culture is content to dismiss breastfeeding entirely, because "there are choices to be made." "It's a mother's choice; it's about what's right for her and her family." This vaccine, if it takes off, will render more and more women unable to breastfeed, and no one but those of us now on the "fringes" of mothering society will even care.
You see, breastfeeding is "a choice." Many mothers in our culture feel that a mother who chose to breastfeed could have just as easily chosen not to, that any given feeding at the breast can be replaced with impunity by expressed milk or, even easier, formula. Breastfeeding presented as a lifestyle choice completely discounts the ill effects possible from formula and the who-knows-what that is in it. Sure, you and you and you were fed formula and you turned out fine...but who knows, maybe being breastfed would have improved your life; you might not have the chronic illness that you have. You might have an easier time controlling your weight. You might spend less money on prescription drugs. Or you might turn out the same...but you never know.
Yes, I said "ill effect from formula" rather than "benefit of breastfeeding." Read this essay by Diane Weissinger to understand why.
Breastfeeding REDUCES the risk of breast cancer. Not only does it reduce the risk for the mother, but it reduces the risk for her daughters. So, thank you Mommy, for breastfeeding me and for encouraging me to do so for my children. Yes, I know that it doesn't eliminate the risk. My favorite lactation consultant nursed her 3 kids for nearly 2 years each, and yet she had breast cancer. And she says that she would not have forgone breastfeeding in order to receive the vaccine. I'm the last person with whom you want to talk statistics. Remember...mom of a kid who had a rare cancer...Having children and NOT breastfeeding them or barely breastfeeding them at all puts a mother at greater risk for breast cancer. And again, it doesn't GUARANTEE that the mother will get it because she chose not to breastfeed.
Life is about playing the odds.
I'm all for this treatment being marketed for the post-nursing demographic of women, the 40+ or so age bracket.
Younger women, however, don't know how they would be affected by not breastfeeding, nor how their future children might be affected. It would be horrific to find this marketed at younger women, saying "there are choices to be made." There are laundry lists of scare tactics that will likely be used to get people to agree to get this treatment, which is probably not cheap (nor easy, or they might have figured it out before). Yes, I am aware of how horrible breast cancer is. Yet, this is just too high of a price to pay...and the tragedy is, very few people agree.
Breast Cancer Vaccine...but there's a catch.
To summarize, the vaccine is being created to target a certain type of protein that is found in breast tumors. This protein is also found in the milk of lactating women, meaning that the vaccine would destroy a woman's ability to breastfeed. The vaccine may also be able to shrink existing tumors. It would be given to young women who are considered to be high-risk and also to women in their 40's.
The writer of the article is rather cavalier about dismissing the inability to breastfeed as a result, saying "there are choices to be made." This prospect bothers me because most of our culture is content to dismiss breastfeeding entirely, because "there are choices to be made." "It's a mother's choice; it's about what's right for her and her family." This vaccine, if it takes off, will render more and more women unable to breastfeed, and no one but those of us now on the "fringes" of mothering society will even care.
You see, breastfeeding is "a choice." Many mothers in our culture feel that a mother who chose to breastfeed could have just as easily chosen not to, that any given feeding at the breast can be replaced with impunity by expressed milk or, even easier, formula. Breastfeeding presented as a lifestyle choice completely discounts the ill effects possible from formula and the who-knows-what that is in it. Sure, you and you and you were fed formula and you turned out fine...but who knows, maybe being breastfed would have improved your life; you might not have the chronic illness that you have. You might have an easier time controlling your weight. You might spend less money on prescription drugs. Or you might turn out the same...but you never know.
Yes, I said "ill effect from formula" rather than "benefit of breastfeeding." Read this essay by Diane Weissinger to understand why.
Breastfeeding REDUCES the risk of breast cancer. Not only does it reduce the risk for the mother, but it reduces the risk for her daughters. So, thank you Mommy, for breastfeeding me and for encouraging me to do so for my children. Yes, I know that it doesn't eliminate the risk. My favorite lactation consultant nursed her 3 kids for nearly 2 years each, and yet she had breast cancer. And she says that she would not have forgone breastfeeding in order to receive the vaccine. I'm the last person with whom you want to talk statistics. Remember...mom of a kid who had a rare cancer...Having children and NOT breastfeeding them or barely breastfeeding them at all puts a mother at greater risk for breast cancer. And again, it doesn't GUARANTEE that the mother will get it because she chose not to breastfeed.
Life is about playing the odds.
I'm all for this treatment being marketed for the post-nursing demographic of women, the 40+ or so age bracket.
Younger women, however, don't know how they would be affected by not breastfeeding, nor how their future children might be affected. It would be horrific to find this marketed at younger women, saying "there are choices to be made." There are laundry lists of scare tactics that will likely be used to get people to agree to get this treatment, which is probably not cheap (nor easy, or they might have figured it out before). Yes, I am aware of how horrible breast cancer is. Yet, this is just too high of a price to pay...and the tragedy is, very few people agree.
Friday, June 4, 2010
Water!!!
Some of the best $5 ever spent: a Buzz Lightyear Slip n Slide.
Today, we had friends over--mom and little guy, 14 months old. First on the agenda was, of course, lunch!
The concept for the meal was dips. I figure, they're little kids, and it's messy fun. Of course, Meatball was wearing his meal in short order. I took tortillas and cut them into little wedges. I made a few quesadillas separately but for the most part, everything was to be dipped into using these little tortilla pieces. I had beans, cheese, salsa, salsa with sour cream, onions, peppers, and two kinds of hummus. I also made cut grapes in yogurt for the little guys.
Meatball LOVES food. He ate everything. The Boy was enthusiastic about the quesadillas but not much else...he could really use some color in his diet.
From there, we puttered around with toys for a bit, and I set up the Slip n Slide outside. Our little friend wasn't quite as interested, but The Boy LOVED it. He walked back and forth...and then he fell. Which was hilarious, so he repeated it.
Meatball wasn't interested and was also less than thrilled when I got him with the hose. Sorry, little buddy.
The interesting thing about the afternoon was that even though our little friend was 14 months old, where Meatball is 11 months, and you'd think they'd be playing together, it was The Boy, nearly 3 years old, who played with him. This kid climbed up the slide. He's tough. But "tough" at his age is probably just about right for a playmate for The Boy. I don't worry about his verbal skills, not having other little kids with whom to carry on conversations. He talks to us all the time. What he needs is a little friend who will encourage him to climb on stuff, because Meatball is too young yet and probably will not walk until after his first birthday. No big deal--I didn't.
On that subject, The Boy starts his physical therapy, finally. He will go every Monday. I think that he has improved significantly, just from the time spent on the playground. Hopefully the therapist will have some fun suggestions for us.
Today, we had friends over--mom and little guy, 14 months old. First on the agenda was, of course, lunch!
The concept for the meal was dips. I figure, they're little kids, and it's messy fun. Of course, Meatball was wearing his meal in short order. I took tortillas and cut them into little wedges. I made a few quesadillas separately but for the most part, everything was to be dipped into using these little tortilla pieces. I had beans, cheese, salsa, salsa with sour cream, onions, peppers, and two kinds of hummus. I also made cut grapes in yogurt for the little guys.
Meatball LOVES food. He ate everything. The Boy was enthusiastic about the quesadillas but not much else...he could really use some color in his diet.
From there, we puttered around with toys for a bit, and I set up the Slip n Slide outside. Our little friend wasn't quite as interested, but The Boy LOVED it. He walked back and forth...and then he fell. Which was hilarious, so he repeated it.
Meatball wasn't interested and was also less than thrilled when I got him with the hose. Sorry, little buddy.
The interesting thing about the afternoon was that even though our little friend was 14 months old, where Meatball is 11 months, and you'd think they'd be playing together, it was The Boy, nearly 3 years old, who played with him. This kid climbed up the slide. He's tough. But "tough" at his age is probably just about right for a playmate for The Boy. I don't worry about his verbal skills, not having other little kids with whom to carry on conversations. He talks to us all the time. What he needs is a little friend who will encourage him to climb on stuff, because Meatball is too young yet and probably will not walk until after his first birthday. No big deal--I didn't.
On that subject, The Boy starts his physical therapy, finally. He will go every Monday. I think that he has improved significantly, just from the time spent on the playground. Hopefully the therapist will have some fun suggestions for us.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
The things we have to do to get things done...
I was waiting and waiting for a phone call or two to be returned. Said phone call was made to the insurance company of the neighbor who hit my parked van while I was at therapy. Oh, cruel irony.
I called my insurance agent, who, although I've never met him, sounds like a really cool guy based on the handful of conversations that we've had. I explained to him the situation, and he said that it's not his issue at all, that this guy's company would be taking care of it, but he'd be glad to call over there and nudge some people.
All of a sudden, I got phone calls. First from the other guy's agent, then from the claims person, and then from the appraiser. He'll be here tomorrow.
We can get a rental car, but since we really don't need it (Musical Daddy takes the bus to work, and school is almost over), we'll just live life as a one-car family, something that we were seriously considering anyway, depending on who gets what jobs and how easy it is for them to bus or bike to work.
We do have a friend who bikes from this area to downtown. Also, one of the teachers who lives on the other side of the city bikes to work. He says that it's mostly downhill on the way there anyway.
I did bike a little bit today. Following a quick family trip to Oakland for Musical Daddy's comic book fix, Daddy took the children to the playground in the wagon. I was to join them after I made sure that dinner was ready (cook everything, then leave it in the oven, but make sure that the oven is turned off. Stays warm enough for a park visit). I hopped on the bike and rode to the playground down the street...and found no one. Oops--wrong playground. No problem...although this one is a little further away, with more hills.
We played for awhile; then I put The Boy in the seat on the back of my bike and rode home. I took a different path, but it was still hard work. Particularly with 30 extra pounds behind me. The Boy is almost too tall for the bicycle seat, and Meatball is just about ready to start riding in it! I think The Boy can still ride for one more summer, provided that he refrains from kicking me.
I think I'm feeling better, overall, about the past 2 days with The Boy. I'm really not pushing the potty issue. I am, however, making sure that he understands, as well as he can, that he is responsible for what he does. If he makes a mess on purpose,
he is expected to help clean it up. If he wants to go somewhere yet runs away when we try to dress him, we won't chase him; we just let him know that he needs to be dressed to go.
Somewhere, buried in the pile of stuff downstairs, is our Love and Logic book. While I find this book and this parenting theory to be very appropriate for us as teachers and parents, I have also heard a lot of criticism, from both "sides" of the parenting debates. Some say that parents are just manipulating their children into thinking that they have a say when they don't. Others say that giving little children too many choices is a waste of time. I admit, sometimes I feel that way, when The Boy has picked out his third plate of the meal.
The struggle, as several wise friends have mentioned, is not about the potty, and it isn't about the toys or the messes either. It's about The Boy adjusting to life as something other than the center of the universe. Additionally, he is lacking in social skills, and to fight with him to get him to join in activities is pointless. We might be better off inviting one or two friends over at a time. Probably friends who are a little younger, at least at first.
There's NO way that The Boy would be ready for preschool in the Fall. He'll be 3. I don't worry that he'll "fall behind" if I don't send him, nor am I that excited to send my socially awkward kid, who will be one of the youngest unless he is held back (likely), to "school" when one of us will likely be at home and we won't have that kind of money anyway (long freakin' sentence!) He has no interest in group activities, his ability to listen and follow directions is VERY selective, and he has a tendency to get walked on, literally and figuratively.
Not gonna lie--homeschooling has crossed my mind more than once. Not going to do it, but it crept into my head.
Meatball is 11 months on Saturday. Where does the time go?!
I called my insurance agent, who, although I've never met him, sounds like a really cool guy based on the handful of conversations that we've had. I explained to him the situation, and he said that it's not his issue at all, that this guy's company would be taking care of it, but he'd be glad to call over there and nudge some people.
All of a sudden, I got phone calls. First from the other guy's agent, then from the claims person, and then from the appraiser. He'll be here tomorrow.
We can get a rental car, but since we really don't need it (Musical Daddy takes the bus to work, and school is almost over), we'll just live life as a one-car family, something that we were seriously considering anyway, depending on who gets what jobs and how easy it is for them to bus or bike to work.
We do have a friend who bikes from this area to downtown. Also, one of the teachers who lives on the other side of the city bikes to work. He says that it's mostly downhill on the way there anyway.
I did bike a little bit today. Following a quick family trip to Oakland for Musical Daddy's comic book fix, Daddy took the children to the playground in the wagon. I was to join them after I made sure that dinner was ready (cook everything, then leave it in the oven, but make sure that the oven is turned off. Stays warm enough for a park visit). I hopped on the bike and rode to the playground down the street...and found no one. Oops--wrong playground. No problem...although this one is a little further away, with more hills.
We played for awhile; then I put The Boy in the seat on the back of my bike and rode home. I took a different path, but it was still hard work. Particularly with 30 extra pounds behind me. The Boy is almost too tall for the bicycle seat, and Meatball is just about ready to start riding in it! I think The Boy can still ride for one more summer, provided that he refrains from kicking me.
I think I'm feeling better, overall, about the past 2 days with The Boy. I'm really not pushing the potty issue. I am, however, making sure that he understands, as well as he can, that he is responsible for what he does. If he makes a mess on purpose,
he is expected to help clean it up. If he wants to go somewhere yet runs away when we try to dress him, we won't chase him; we just let him know that he needs to be dressed to go.
Somewhere, buried in the pile of stuff downstairs, is our Love and Logic book. While I find this book and this parenting theory to be very appropriate for us as teachers and parents, I have also heard a lot of criticism, from both "sides" of the parenting debates. Some say that parents are just manipulating their children into thinking that they have a say when they don't. Others say that giving little children too many choices is a waste of time. I admit, sometimes I feel that way, when The Boy has picked out his third plate of the meal.
The struggle, as several wise friends have mentioned, is not about the potty, and it isn't about the toys or the messes either. It's about The Boy adjusting to life as something other than the center of the universe. Additionally, he is lacking in social skills, and to fight with him to get him to join in activities is pointless. We might be better off inviting one or two friends over at a time. Probably friends who are a little younger, at least at first.
There's NO way that The Boy would be ready for preschool in the Fall. He'll be 3. I don't worry that he'll "fall behind" if I don't send him, nor am I that excited to send my socially awkward kid, who will be one of the youngest unless he is held back (likely), to "school" when one of us will likely be at home and we won't have that kind of money anyway (long freakin' sentence!) He has no interest in group activities, his ability to listen and follow directions is VERY selective, and he has a tendency to get walked on, literally and figuratively.
Not gonna lie--homeschooling has crossed my mind more than once. Not going to do it, but it crept into my head.
Meatball is 11 months on Saturday. Where does the time go?!
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
For the record...
Even though I have halted potty training with The Boy until he is more "ready," (actually, port removal is next week so it's just as well), I still think that T. Berry Brazelton is a corporate tool.
T. Berry Brazelton did a lot of child development research and basically endorsed Pampers, hailing the new product as one that makes mothers' lives so much easier because children can wait to learn the potty and parents can just throw dirty diapers away.
Creating new sets of problems...
Anyhow, I think I will still offer him the potty in the morning and before we go out, just to keep it in his consciousness, but give him the choice to use diapers, particularly when going out.
I swear...if I have any more kids (which I doubt) it's going to be EC all the way...
T. Berry Brazelton did a lot of child development research and basically endorsed Pampers, hailing the new product as one that makes mothers' lives so much easier because children can wait to learn the potty and parents can just throw dirty diapers away.
Creating new sets of problems...
Anyhow, I think I will still offer him the potty in the morning and before we go out, just to keep it in his consciousness, but give him the choice to use diapers, particularly when going out.
I swear...if I have any more kids (which I doubt) it's going to be EC all the way...
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